Wow, it almost 2 months since I last blog. Within this, 2 short months, there are a lot of things happened. Right now there are a lot of things running through my head but I don't know where to start and how to pin it down into words.
Let me used the "Top down approach" technique that I learnt from my course, where dividing big problem into smaller subpart.
I will break down into 4 categories that related to me for the past 2 months (Note: in NO particular order of important)
1) Work and study
Working part time during the night and studying full time during the day are never meant to be easy. I am confident that I could juggle it well like many others. Imagine if I could overcome it, it will be one of my greatest achievements in life. I could become more financial self-independent, helping my parents lessen their burden and be a good role model in the family. Well, I had high expectation from my dad and bro!
Sadly, my confident level and thoughts started to wobble when I realised that Year 2 academic are even more hectic and stressful. Project scope are wider and lot of time and effort are needed.
There are couple of time I am unable to attend for project meeting and can't contribute much. Lucky my team are very understandable.
What I am most afraid of was that I am the weakness member in team with limited IT and programming knowledge, a lot of things I am not sure and eventually my confident level dropped drastically. It even lead me wondering, what I am actually good at and questioning my own abilities. Do I have what it take to be in Computer Science?
After much thoughts, I am quitting my job by the end of Oct and giving myself full focus on studies and projects.
2) Family and friends bonding
When I started working and studying, I realised my free time are shorter. I had lesser time to spent with family and friends. This lead me to the important of family and friends bonding. I made an effort at least once a week when I am free, I will go down visit my mum with my sister. Even it is just a simple lunch or dinner, the time spent with her make me feel that no matter how tough the world is, there is always a place where I can be love and care for.
And for my own close group of friends, I didn't do enough. It is kinda saddening, but I will do better the next time after I sorted things out. Maybe it is time for me to step up as the organizer and planned for activities. I used to be the one but somehow stopped for years. I rested enough already should put into some good use right?
One thing I had learnt from the lesson, when I am sick, it is not work or study that will take care of me but rather it is my friends and family will be there for me. Study and work are important but I must never neglect my family and friends!
3) Friends problems
I used to be a very good listener and probably of one those whom friends will approach me when they have problems. But now I felt that I am like a very bad listener and a very bad friend.
Lately, I had couple of friends having some relationship problems. Some break up with their love one whom they are together for years, some having cold war with best friends forever and things seem getting out of hand and can't re-wind things back. Listening to all their problems and woes, sometime I do not know how to help them or offer any advices. I felt lost with them too at time. And at time when I am really busy, I couldn't give them 100% full attention to them, this make me feel even bad.
No matter what it is, I hope they will be doing fine and better. It is because there will be shine after every dark storm.
4) Purpose of life
They say that without a purpose in life, you are like a lost soul.
It is like drifting aimlessly in the ocean. There are time when I felt lifeless, unmotivated, unproductive, not much enthusiasm in anything I do. Everything seems to be very routine until something happened. By the time it will be too late, I don't want that to happen. So what is the purpose of life? Love, relationship, friendship, kinship or career? Maybe it is a bit of everything. Whatever it is, live to the fullest everyday. It may sound easy but difficult to achieve! So keep trying until you achieved! =)
Below are some of the photos that I didn't upload on time.
A day out with Liling..
Kbox session with US work and travel gangs..
Short trip to Malaysia..
Evelyn's 21st Birthday..
